To Be a Hero
by lolhj
Summary: Post SR...Tragedy strikes and Chloe comes back into Clark's life.  Chloe is living with a heartbroken Jason and a Supermanhating Richard.  Chloe wants nothing to do with Clark, but Clark had decided to abandon the world.  Can Chloe bring Superman back?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters and will never make any money off this.

The Hardest Day

Everyone thought they knew what he would do in every situation, that he would always save the day, always try to save every soul, good or bad, with every breath in his body. I don't think they ever anticipated what losing the person dearest to him would do to his heart.

I looked up at the clear blue sky and scowled at its callousness. If it could mirror the sadness of the day, there would be dark storm clouds brewing in all directions. If the sun could have been privy to my grief it would not have dared to share its bright glory on my face.

The dry grass flattened underneath my soft steps as I walked to where she would lie for all eternity. I didn't think my body had any tears left in it, but one, unwittingly, slipped down my cheek as I saw the flowers surrounding the deep grave. The coffin sitting next to that black hole looked too small to be able to hold all the vibrancy that she was.

I kept to the back of the crowd, keeping my face and eyes downcast to prevent being recognized by anyone. I had successfully hid for enough years to know how to become part of the crowd and blend seamlessly into the cracks where people don't look. Sometimes the hardest thing to find is the thing that has been in front of you all along.

Suddenly the crowd shifted as heads were bowed in prayer, and I glimpsed the ravaged face of the man I once knew. He was no longer the slouching reporter or the proud hero. He was somewhere in between. No bit of confidence or pride straightened those shoulders, nor did any bit of fear or desperation make him try to disguise himself. He looked to be desperately trying to keep from hitting something, or someone, as I saw his knuckles turn white when he fisted his hands.

I couldn't keep the butterflies from my stomach as I realized it had been over fifteen years since I had last spoken to him, but my love hadn't diminished one bit. Unrequited love is the hardest to get over and the worst to endure.

He must have heard my accelerated heartbeat because he suddenly looked up straight into my eyes. I jumped and frantically tried to look away, but his deep blue eyes held my eyes until I saw a look of dawning come into his face. He recognized me. Of course he recognized me; we had grown up together. We were best friends for many years, until it had been time for me to leave…so that I could live.


	2. Chapter 2

Memories

"Clark, you can't keep interrupting my dates! Every guy thinks I'm unavailable because you keep showing up. You're like this jealous ex-boyfriend that just won't quit. Or maybe you're more like an overprotective older brother who happens to look very big and strong; you scare every guy away!"

Clark bowed his head and tried to formulate an apology. It seemed like all he did lately was apologize to everyone in his life.

"Look Chlo, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to purposely ruin your dates. I guess I've just gotten into the bad habit of always needing your expertise and advice. I can't help it if you're so good at helping me." Clark grinned at Chloe hoping his shameless compliment would soften her up.

"Okay, Clark, I see your point. I _am_ extremely talented, but we're going to have to set some boundaries here if I'm ever going to get a boyfriend." Chloe tucked an errant strand of blonde hair behind her ear as her fingers flew across the computer keyboard searching for the article Clark had requested. "Oh, here it is, 'Dead Body in Empty Field Leads to Questions,' I hope this helps you."

"Thank you Chloe. This will hopefully guide me right to the last phantom and to the end of this awful ordeal. I owe you one." Clark leaned down and kissed Chloe on the cheek right before he sped out the door.

A surprised Chloe whispered, "You owe me a lot more than just one."

This is how the years had passed. Chloe trying to live her life, trying to move on in her love life, but Clark would always come flying back in and interrupt somehow. Not that Chloe really minded. She liked feeling relied on and needed by a guy with super abilities like Clark.

But everything changed the morning after she had found the article for Clark. He had finally found and destroyed the last phantom. The morning after, just as the sun was coming over the horizon, he had suddenly appeared in her apartment above the Talon, causing her to spill hot coffee all over the front of her nightgown. He was blood soaked and collapsed to the floor. Chloe ran to his side and started taking his clothes off. She had been through this before, unfortunately several times. She had to get him out in the sun, the more bare skin the quicker he'd heal. She had to take deep breaths, trying to remember all the times before that he'd been okay; there was just so much blood.

Chloe pulled Clark out onto the balcony right into the brightening sunlight. She didn't even spare a moment's thought about the fact that he was wearing only boxers; she was too busy trying to assess his injuries. Her eyes widened as she saw the deep gashes across his chest and arms start to close up. It never failed to amaze her when she saw his injuries heal themselves. She went back inside to get a wet towel to start to clean off the blood. As she kneeled beside Clark and started to gently wipe his face clean, his eyelids fluttered open.

His voice cracked as he tried to form words, "Chloe…I didn't think I'd see you again. I had to get back; I had to tell you what an idiot I'd been. What I finally realized. I love…." His eyelids closed as his head rolled to the side. He had passed out again.

"What happened to you Clark? I've never seen you like this. You always get right back up after being in the sun." Chloe continued to wipe the blood off his chest and arms marveling at the absence of even a scar. Once he was clean she tried to shake him awake with no success. She thought that maybe once the sun was fully in the sky he would completely recover.

Two hours later a now dressed Chloe leaned over Clark and still could not wake him. The sun was shining right on him. His wounds were completely healed and there wasn't a visible reason for his continued slumber. Chloe thought over the last year and his tireless search for the phantoms. Every fight seemed to drain him, yet he continued to push on until he found and destroyed every last phantom. Maybe the realization of finally being done had released his feelings of guilt and allowed him to finally get some much needed rest. Since there was no more outward healing to be done Chloe pulled Clark inside onto the more comfortable carpet. She left the door to the balcony open so that sunlight could still shine onto his body. Getting him into the bed alone was an impossibility.

Chloe spent that first day doing things around the apartment, working on her laptop, and keeping a close eye on Clark. As the sun started to go down, Clark woke up groaning and started to push himself up. Chloe ran to his side and helped him to a sitting position.

Clark raised his eyebrows as he looked himself over, "Umm, Chlo, why am I naked?"

"Oh Clark, don't give that look. I had to let the sun heal you. You were badly beaten up. You've been out cold all day. What happened out there?"

"Fighting Bizzaro was nothing compared to this phantom. I don't know how I defeated him. I think he underestimated how fast I was and I was finally able to get ahead of him and cut him down. It's kind of all a blur. I don't remember ever being this sore. Will you help me up?"

Chloe helped pull Clark up so he was standing. She helped support his left side as he made his way to the bathroom. "I put some clothes out on the sink for you. Your other clothes were damaged beyond repair. Feel free to take a bath to get clean and work some of the kinks out."

"Thanks Chlo, you don't know how much I appreciate it." Clark sat on the side of the bathtub as he leaned over to turn the water on. He looked at Chloe expectantly and raised his eyebrows.

"Oh…right," Chloe stammered, "I'll be right outside, call me if you need anything." Chloe backed out of the bathroom and sat down at the table ready to help if needed. She heard the water finally shut off and the splash of water as Clark lowered himself into the tub. Chloe walked to the kitchen and started to get dinner ready. Not that preheating the oven and putting a pizza in was a culinary feat, but it got the job done.

Thirty minutes later the pizza was done, and Clark was still in the bathroom. Chloe didn't hear any moving around. She knocked at the door and called out his name with no response. Worry started to cloud her mind once again as she cracked the door to peer into the bathroom. Clark was in the bathtub sound asleep, thankfully the shower curtain was pulled partway to shield the more intimate parts of his body. Chloe smiled and clapped her hands, yelling his name, "Clark!!"

Clark jumped awake, splashing water onto the floor. "Chloe, what are you doing?!"

"Trying to keep you from drowning! You better get out, you'll get all pruney. Plus, dinner's ready." Chloe shut the door rolling her eyes. She heard him get out with some whispered expletives. Ten minutes later the door finally opened and a hunched over Clark filled the doorway.

"I can't believe this. I still hurt. I don't know how you do it." Clark started to shuffle forward, hugging the wall for support.

Chloe stated, "Well, I don't battle demons on a daily basis and I try to get a good night's rest. When's the last time you did that?" She quickly moved forward to help support him as he hobbled to the table.

"Oh, Chloe, you shouldn't have. Frozen pizza. My favorite," Clark exclaimed as he saw what sat on the plate in front of him.

"Be nice Clark, you should be happy you got that with my culinary expertise."

Clark took a bite and exclaimed, "It's cold. Want me to warm yours up too?" Chloe nodded her head and Clark squinted his eyes and stared hard at her slice of pizza. Nothing happened. "Hmm, I must need to heal some more. It's like I was exposed to Kryptonite."

"I guess we'll do it the old fashioned way and use the microwave." Chloe took his plate and heated up his pizza. Once they were seated and eating, Chloe took a deep breath and began, "When you woke up the first time this morning you said that you had realized something, but you never finished what you were saying. What was it?"

Clark looked off into space and furrowed his brow in concentration. "I don't remember. Maybe it was about my destiny. I don't know...sorry."

"It's okay. I was just wondering. So now what are you going to do; now that you've finished with the phantoms?"

Clark stared hard at his pizza and looked up smiling, "I'm going to relax!"

Chloe looked at Clark and smiled, "Well you're in no shape to go anywhere tonight. You'll stay here, in my bed. No arguments. It's time you slept a whole night in a comfortable bed."

Clark started to shake his head, "No Chloe it's your bed, I don't feel right about that…"

Chloe interrupted, "Clark! I said no arguments. You will sleep in the bed and that's final."

Chloe cleared the empty plates from the table and loaded the dishwasher. When she turned around to look at Clark he was sound asleep sitting up in the kitchen chair. She grinned to herself and went to make sure the bed was ready. She came back to Clark's side and gently shook him while whispering in his ear, "Hey, earth to Clark, time for bed."

Clark's eyelids opened to reveal his tired blue eyes. Chloe's face was close to his as he looked into her eyes. They both paused for a moment and just stared at one another. Clark slowly started to move forward bringing his lips inches from Chloe's. Chloe started to move forward to bridge the distance, but suddenly pulled back quickly, "You're tired Clark. Let's get you to bed."

Clark stammered, "I…I'm sorry Chlo." He looked at the floor as he struggled to his feet. He couldn't understand the feelings that had unexpectedly surfaced. He had wanted nothing more than to kiss her. He remembered back to when he was fighting the phantom. He hadn't been able to shake the feeling that the only thing he wanted was to get back home to Chloe. They had been best friends for a long time now. She knew his secret and still accepted him as he was. It was only natural that he would feel close to her. So why these confusing feelings all of a sudden? Why did he feel like he wanted so much more with her?

Chloe helped him to the bed and started to walk away muttering under her breath, "Goodnight Clark."

Clark stopped her by saying, "Chloe…thank you for everything. I couldn't have gotten through this…through any of this, without you. You've always been there when I needed you." She gave him a small grin and continued to walk away to the living room.

The next few days passed without incident. Clark continued to stay with Chloe at her apartment. Something wouldn't let him leave. She would leave in the morning to go to work and come home to find Clark watching TV or would watch him trying his hand at cooking dinner. He was sleeping most of the days and nights away and had finally recovered his powers.

It was a Friday night when their relationship changed forever. Chloe ran up the stairs to the apartment happily humming to herself. She turned the doorknob of the front door expecting to find it unlocked. She frowned in confusion when the doorknob wouldn't budge. Fishing her keys out of her purse, Chloe felt her happiness start to dissipate. Clark must have finally gone home. Melancholy enveloped her as she realized she wouldn't be spending another carefree evening in his company. She finally got the door unlocked and opened it with a gasp.

Her apartment was awash in a glow from hundreds of candles. Tulips were sitting on every surface and soft music played on her stereo. Clark stood in the center of the room grinning from ear to ear. He wasn't wearing his usual plaid, but a black dress shirt that accented his black hair and brought out his blue eyes.

"Umm, Clark…what's going on?" Chloe could hardly believe her eyes. This couldn't be for her; she must have accidently walked into something he had planned for someone else.

"Do you like it? I wanted everything to be perfect for you. Come in and sit down. I got dinner from that little Italian place you love in Metropolis."

Chloe moved forward into the room and took a seat at the table. "You didn't have to do all this just to thank me. I mean, I really appreciate your thoughtfulness, but isn't this…a little romantic."

Clark rolled his eyes, "Oh course its romantic; my mom said it would be perfect. This isn't about just thanking you. I finally remembered what I was about to tell you that first morning I woke up here after destroying the last phantom."

Chloe leaned forward over the table towards Clark, "Well…spill it. What was it?"

Clark took a deep breath and took one of Chloe's hands in his, "You've always been there for me. You didn't blink twice when you learned I'm not from this world, and you've helped me at every turn. I don't know what I'd do without you. When I was fighting that phantom I couldn't get you out of my head. All I wanted to do was come home to you, take you in my arms, and stay there forever. That's when I realized that what I had felt before for Lana was absolutely nothing compared to what I feel for you. That was an obsessive crush, but what I feel for you goes way beyond that. I'm in love with you Chlo."

Chloe let out a shaky breath, "Are you sure Clark? I mean, I've loved you for a long time and you've never felt that way back. Maybe it's just gratitude, maybe you're just confused, maybe…"

Chloe's words were abruptly cut off as Clark leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. At first the kiss was gentle and unassuming, but it quickly deepened into one of passion and fire as his arms went around her and threatened to never let go. Clark broke off breathing heavily, "Does that feel confused Chloe? I love you."

A single tear rolled down Chloe's cheek, "Oh Clark, I love you too. I've loved you for years, I've never stopped. Please say it again."

His voice turned husky as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her neck, "I love you Chloe." He leaned down and pressed another kiss behind her ear, "I love you Chloe." He pushed her shirt off her shoulder as he kissed her collarbone, "I love you Chloe."


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews! I appreciate the support!_

The Hardest Day-Part II

Chloe tore her eyes away from Clarks' and couldn't stop the tears from falling as she relived her own pain and felt the pain that she saw in Clark's eyes. She wished she hadn't come to the funeral; she had worked so hard to get over Clark and now the pain felt fresh again. But she remembered Jason's tear streaked face; she had to be there for him. He didn't have a mother now; he needed all the love and support from family that he could get.

Chloe looked around for Jason and saw him hiding behind his father's pant leg trying to hold back tears. Richard reached down and put his hand on Jason's head caressing his hair.

Jason was the only reason Chloe had finally contacted Lois. Chloe had moved far away and changed her name and appearance. No one from her past had been able to find her; they eventually stopped looking. But she tried to continually keep tabs on what was happening in her family's lives. When Chloe saw the birth announcement of Jason in the paper and subsequent rant about why the world didn't need Superman, she knew it was time to reconnect with Lois. Chloe knew that Lois would need her like never before. Chloe felt sure that Jason was Clark's, or rather Superman's, since it seemed from the newspaper articles that the two of them were close. She was more than surprised to find out about Richard.

Chloe had been concerned at first when Lois kept talking about Superman this and Superman that with absolutely no mention of his alter ego. The truth started to dawn on Chloe that Lois didn't know Clark was Superman. Leave it to Lois to be a great investigative reporter, but not recognize her co-worker. Granted, Chloe was pretty impressed with the disguise after she got done laughing when she realized it was Clark wearing the spandex.

Chloe had immediately called Mrs. Kent when Superman had seemed to disappear from the news. Chloe was worried something had happened to Clark. Mrs. Kent had shared what she knew of Clark's departure from earth. Chloe felt certain he would be back if he could be because of his love for the people of earth, but she understood his need to know about his birthplace. Chloe felt badly about not being able to tell Lois where Superman had gone, but she couldn't think of a way to explain how she knew.

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The crowd around the grave started to dissipate after the priest had finished. Chloe stood rooted to the spot she stood in; she resolved to stay strong for Jason. It didn't take long for Jason to spot Chloe. He ran to her as she kneeled down and took him in her arms. He desperately clung to her as a little voice whispered in her ear, "I missed you Auntie Chlo."

"Oh Jason I missed you too. How you doing squirt?" Chloe asked as she leaned away from his embrace to look into his startlingly familiar blue eyes. She wondered why she hadn't noticed his eyes before.

"I miss Mommy. Daddy said she was in heaven. I don't know why she went there without me. I asked Superman to go and get her for me, but he said that heaven was too far away for him." Chloe's heart constricted as she lifted her eyes to Clark. He was intently studying the ground with his lips set in a grim line.

Chloe stood up as Richard came up behind Jason. He pulled her into a deep hug, "Chloe, thank you for coming. We really appreciate it. When did you get in?"

Chloe pulled her eyes away from Clark and looked at Richard, "I just got here, barely made it in time. My flight was delayed." She couldn't believe Richard was able to hold it together and make small talk with her.

Richard put his arm around Chloe and started to walk toward the cars, "Everyone's heading to the house now. Our car is over this way."

"Oh it's alright Richard, I rented a car. I know the way to your house."

Chloe was interrupted by Jason tugging on his Father's pant leg, "Daddy, Daddy, can Clark go with us? I want him to ride with us."

"Oh sorry Jas, I only have room for one small person and I highly doubt Clark would fit in the middle of the back seat. Maybe Aunt Chloe will give him a ride." Richard looked to Chloe expectantly as she felt Clark's eyes staring at the back of her head.

"Well I…I have a lot of luggage…I don't think he'd want to…" Chloe's politeness got the better of her as she fumbled along, "Well…I guess I could ask him if he really needs a ride."

"Thanks Chloe, we'll see you at the house." Richard left her standing there staring at their departing figures. She didn't dare turn around to look at Clark. Under normal circumstances this would have been awkward, but with all that had happened she didn't even know how to act around Clark. She stiffened as she felt a strong hand on her shoulder.

"Chloe, I…I can't believe you're actually here. I thought you were dead. I…" Clark broke off as he struggled for words through the onslaught of emotions. With the grief of losing Lois and now the joy and confusion at seeing Chloe again he wasn't sure what to feel.

Chloe decided to ignore her raging emotions and pretend nothing was wrong. She asked, "Clark, do you need a ride? I mean, I know you don't need a ride, but do you want one? I guess you have to put on the illusion of riding with someone; you can't just fly to Richard's. I could say you rode with me, and you don't have to. I could call a Taxi for you, or better yet, I could say you had a Taxi waiting and you took that…"

"You're babbling." He mercifully cut off her river of words as she looked sheepishly at him.

She started, "You can't deny this is weird. I don't know what to say to you. I don't know where to begin. I can't imagine what you're feeling; well…it's probably a lot like what I'm feeling. I wish we didn't have to meet again under these circumstances."

Clark interrupted, "I would love a ride." He started walking towards the only vehicle left and Chloe hurried to catch up. Chloe unlocked the doors and slipped into the driver's side seat. She looked up at Clark as they both latched their seatbelts. With a sharp intake a breath she realized how close they were. He lifted his eyes to hers and she couldn't look away. There was always something so unique about his eyes; they were a shade a blue she had never seen duplicated until… Suddenly, realization dawned on Chloe.

"Does Richard know?" Chloe asked.

Clark looked confused and asked back, "Does he know what?"

"That Jason is yours," she simply stated.

Clark sat back and stared straight ahead at the road, refusing to let Chloe see him struggle for control of his emotions. When he could finally talk, he answered, "I don't think so. Lois didn't even know Jason was mine."

Chloe furrowed her brow and glanced at Clark, "I don't understand. How do you know for sure that he's yours?"

"Lois told Superman."

Chloe blew out a big breath, "Jeesh Clark, and you thought life was difficult back when you were just Clark. How do you live like this?" Chloe asked incredulously. She couldn't imagine being two completely different people and having to fool the people closest to you. At least when he was in Smallville he was one person and could hide the alien part of himself.

Clark looked at Chloe and stated honestly, "It's not been easy, and now it's impossible. I can't keep doing this. It's time to get rid of Superman."

Chloe couldn't help from throwing on her brakes and pulling over to the side of the road, "What?! What are you going to do? Kill him!? That's crazy. Are you just going to tune out all the cries for help?"

When she took a breath to continue her tirade, Clark softly spoke, "I already have."

Chloe sat back in her seat and stared at the road, "But…you…you can't…" She didn't know what to say. This wasn't the Clark she had grown up with, this wasn't the Clark she had fell so hopelessly in love with. He wouldn't abandon the world. He couldn't…could he? Apparently, he already had once and the world had moved on just fine without him.

They spent the rest of the way to Richard's house in silence.


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews! _

_Keep__ '__em__ coming! Keeps me motivated to write more…_

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Watching from Above

There's a place, above the clouds, with just the blue sky and the warm sun, where it's sometimes easy to forget all that's going on in the world. That's where I found myself this morning, soaking in the sun's healing warmth, and desperately trying to forget all that had happened. I'm able to push out all the unwanted noises and focus on only one precious, constant sound, Jason's heartbeat. Just thinking of him makes my pain slightly lessen, but it also increases my guilt. He is now without a mother because of me.

I am called a superhero because I am able to help people with my abilities, but for all the people I've saved it all means nothing, because I was not able to save the person closest to me. When it came time, all my powers, all my experiences, all meant nothing. I could do nothing to save her, and I feel worthless because of it.

It's been a week since I last saw her smile, one hundred forty-nine hours since I last heard her voice. I find myself waking up in the middle of the night in a panicked state because her heartbeat is suddenly missing from my subconscious. Upon taking in my surroundings, I immediately remember why it's missing and I break down, again. I'm supposed to be the strongest man on the planet, but I can barely hold this burden.

My son's heartbeat gives me strength, gives me the tempo to which I set my day. I wish I could see him and talk with him father to son. He has no idea he's mine. I'm grateful Lois had the chance to tell me the truth of his parentage before she left us. Though, I'm sure Chloe would have pointed out the similarities between Jason and I before long. Although, if Lois hadn't died, Chloe would never have come back.

When I recognized Chloe standing across from me at the funeral, I had to stop myself from running to her and grabbing her in my arms. When I lost her the first time I didn't want to go on. When I lost her the second time I almost gave up. Then Lois had pulled me out of my hopelessness and given me a reason for living. She reminded me why I wore the blue suit, why I was here.

Thousands of feet below me I hear Chloe knock on Richard's front door and with exclamations of delight Jason comes running into her arms. He starts talking about his busy morning making breakfast with his Dad. I watch as Chloe walks into the kitchen looking for Richard.

She calls out, "Richard…Jason let me in. Where are you?"

"Hi Chloe. I'll be right down. Make yourself at home," Richard calls from upstairs.

Richard sounds oddly chipper. I marvel at the fact that he can still function. I can't believe he is going to work at the Daily Planet today. I still can't make myself enter that bull pen knowing that I won't be seeing Lois there, ever again.

Richard runs down the stairs straightening his tie, "Chloe thanks for coming. Jason's not quite ready to go back to school yet, but I need to go into work today. I appreciate you offering to watch him."

"Are you sure you're ready to go back Richard? It's only been a week. No one will blame you for taking more time off," Chloe asks him looking rather concerned.

"I have to go in. I can't sit around here anymore. I start thinking about Loi…" Richard breaks off choking back a sob, "I just can't be expected to sit around and do nothing. Jason and work are the only things that will keep me going. I should be home around six. Call me if you need anything."

Chloe looks up at Richard with tears in her eyes, "Okay, I'll hold the fort down around here. See you then."

I watch as Richard hurries out of the house and jumps into his car. He looks almost like he is running away from something. Maybe the memories the house brings up are too much.

I continue to watch Chloe and Jason for several hours. Watching them together reminds me of my loneliness and the self imposed exile I force on myself. I worry so much that the people close to me will be harmed that I never get to enjoy their presence. It seems that no matter what precautions I take, the people I share just a small piece of myself with are ultimately harmed. My heart constricts when I think about Jason's future. No one must ever know about our connection; I will have to sever all ties to him.

I watch as Chloe desperately tries to make Jason smile. They are sitting outside on swings when she asks Jason if he likes Superman.

He replies, "I love Superman. He's awesome. He does some neat stuff, like lifting boats and saving peoples. He's also real nice to me. He lets me color at his desk."

My heart skips a beat. There is no way he knows my secret, but I had let him color at my desk just last week.

Chloe smiles tenderly as she looks at Jason, "I didn't know Superman had a desk. Do you get to talk to him a lot?"

Jason looks at Chloe for a minute as if to gage whether he should tell her everything or not. Obviously deciding he can trust her, he goes on, "I've only seen him a few times at my Mommy and Daddy's work. He doesn't talk to me like I'm a little kid," Jason leans forward to whisper, "I think he gave me some of his power."

Chloe's eyes widened with mine as she whispers back, "How did he do that?"

"I don't know. When I was on a big boat with Mommy a man was going to hurt her, and I pushed something heavy at him. I think I did something bad because the man wasn't moving after. Please don't tell Daddy. He might get mad."

Chloe puts her arm around Jason, "Honey, you didn't do anything wrong. You were extremely brave and you protected your mom. I'm sure she was really proud of you. What did you push at the man?"

Jason frowns as he says, "A big piano."

I gasp as I realize what my son is saying. He is already developing his strength. I wasn't even sure if he would develop any powers. This is not how I planned things. I can't leave him now. He'll need me to teach him about his powers, about his responsibilities. How do I tell Richard about this? What do I tell Jason about why he's so strong? I can't bear to hurt them anymore. This is too hard.


	5. Chapter 5

_Author__'s__ Note: Sorry guys, wicked short chapter…_

_I__'m working on some good stuff__-hopefully answer some of your questions…__I'll be updating soon _

_Thank you for reading and thank you for your comments!!!!_

A Miracle

Chloe heard a knock on the front door while she was making lunch. Jason was sitting at the kitchen table coloring a picture of Spiderman. Chloe knew it could only be one person; she was surprised he hadn't shown up earlier in the day. He would have known she would be alone with Jason for the day, and she knew he wouldn't miss an opportunity to be with Jason.

She opened to the door to see Clark as she remembered him. He wasn't wearing the three piece business suit or the blue tights, but was just…Clark. He was wearing jeans and a plaid shirt with no glasses. Obviously, he didn't need to have any pretense with Chloe or Jason, he could be just himself.

Before Chloe could say anything he pulled her into an intense hug and didn't want to let go. He mumbled into her hair, "I can't believe you're here. I've missed you so much. Where did you go? What happened to you?"

Chloe opened her mouth to say something, but Jason ran into the room and exclaimed, "Clark! What are you doing here?!"

Clark kneeled down to Jason's eye level and said, "Hi buddy. I came to talk to you and Aunt Chloe. I accidently overheard a few things and I wanted to make sure everything was okay."

Jason looked down at his feet shyly as he asked, "Can I have a hug from you?"

Chloe watched as Clark held out his arms and Jason ran into them. Clark looked like he was holding onto his lifeline; he looked to be fighting for control. Chloe didn't know that it was the first time he had held his son.

Jason whispered into Clark's ear, "I didn't tell Auntie Chlo about you and Superman. I figured it was secret. Did I do good?"

Clark held Jason out in front of him as he said, "Jason, you did perfect. You are perfect. I am very proud of you." Clark closed his eyes briefly as he pushed the tears back. Pride and love surged in him as he looked as this little miracle standing in front of him. Lois had given Clark the most precious gift she could have never imagined; she had given him his humanity.

Chloe cleared her throat behind Father and son, "Hey boys, I have lunch ready if anyone wants anything."

Jason ran back into the kitchen, leaving Clark and Chloe standing alone.

Clark whispered, "He's perfect Chloe. I can't believe that I could have any part in creating something so wonderful. I had decided earlier today that I could not have any part in his life. I didn't want anyone to know anything and be able to hurt him. But when I heard him tell you about the ship incident I knew I couldn't leave him alone to deal with his abilities. I'm sorry that he'll have to deal with the responsibility of his powers, but I'm not sorry that I don't have to leave him."

Chloe put her hand on Clark's arm and gently squeezed, "Clark, I want to tell you that I don't plan on leaving again. I want to be there for Jason. I will help any way I can."

Clark lifted Chloe's chin with his forefinger so he could look into her eyes, "That's one of the things that I've always loved about you. You are always willing to help. You never batted an eyelash when I first told you the whole story about me, and here you are again, in unchartered territory willing to do anything to help."

Chloe looked hard at Clark, "That's me Clark. Always helping…always giving. I _will_ do anything for Jason. But it won't be like before. I won't follow you around like some lost puppy just waiting for your approval. I've moved on. I will always love you Clark, but I refuse to go back to those helpless feelings of before."

Clark furrowed his brow as he took Chloe's hands in his own, "I never wanted to hurt you Chloe. I regret a lot of things that I did back then, but I don't regret falling in love with you. I hope we can be friends again."

Chloe gave him a big grin, "Of course, friends sounds good…for Jason."


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's Note: I hope this answers at least one of your questions. More answers to follow soon. Thank you for reading__ and__ for your reviews!!_

Lois

Dinner was quiet as Jason chattered away telling his parents about his day, but neither of the adults were interacting with him. Richard was busy staring out the window trying to not be mad at Lois, but was unsuccessful. Lois was staring at her plate of untouched food trying to ignore her headache and trying to figure out how to break the news to Richard. She had already broken the easiest news…she had gently reminded him that he wasn't Jason's father. Lois had known that Richard knew deep down that Jason wasn't his, but she hated to have to remind him. After all, they had put his name on the birth certificate.

Richard had met Lois when she was two months pregnant. Lois herself hadn't even known by that point. She always tended to be oblivious to her own body's workings. Lois had been so angry at Superman that she was desperate for attention from someone. Richard and Lois had a whirlwind relationship, moving in together after only three weeks. By that point, Lois couldn't deny the truth anymore. She was pregnant.

Lois fought with her obstetrician for thirty minutes when she told Lois that she was three months along. She had only known Richard for one month, and there had been no one else before that for quite some time. Lois clung to the fact that the doctors were wrong until she delivered an eight pound baby when she thought she was only six months along. Richard had looked at the baby and had immediately known it wasn't his, but Lois's absolute denial to the contrary helped him ignore the obvious.

Because Lois knew deep down that Jason wasn't Richard's, she had held off on marrying him. She kept toying with the idea of just ignoring the fact that she had slept with someone and had no recollection of it. But something in her kept her from moving on past that fact. She frequently wondered if it had something to do with Superman since the supernatural had a way of following him wherever he went. Also, Jason's extraordinary blue eyes weren't lost on Lois; she knew where she had seen them before.

Seeing Jason push that piano had finally confirmed her suspicions. At that moment, her perfectly formed world had come crashing down. Lois couldn't deny the past anymore. She had to tell Superman the truth so he could guide Jason in his precarious future. She knew that she had to tell Richard as well.

The thought of telling him made her stomach plummet; she knew it would break his heart. She had denied her love for Superman just days before, and now he would find out that they had slept together.

Lois had chosen two days after the horrible event with Lex Luthor to start to break the truth to Richard. She couldn't decide whether to tell it all at once, like ripping off a band-aid, or slowly tell him piece by piece, hopefully allowing him time to get used to the idea. She chose the latter, thinking that Richard would need the extra time to process the truth.

She was rethinking her decision at dinner when she kept feeling Richard's cold glare. She planned on telling him the rest later that night, if she could just get rid of the headache she had. She had already taken eight Ibuprofen with little effect. She stood up to take her plate to the sink and get some more Ibuprofen when she collapsed to the floor. Richard rushed to her side, as Lois sat up laughing, "I guess I should lay off the water, must be something in it."

Richard knitted his eyebrows together, "Are you okay Lois? What's wrong?"

Lois waved him off, "I'm fine Richard, just clumsy as always. I think I'm going to go lie down." Lois struggled to her feet and took off towards their bedroom as Richard stood watching her.

Jason sat there watching his Dad with wide eyes, "Daddy, is Mommy okay?"

Richard looked to Jason with a wide smile, "She's fine, just a little tired." Richard and Jason spent the rest of the night cleaning up and watching a little TV together. Richard went and checked on Lois at one point when he put Jason to bed and she was sleeping soundly. Richard then worked on one of his articles concerning the land mass Lex Luthor had built from some mysterious material. He fell asleep on the couch with his laptop in his lap.

Around five a.m. he woke up to a large thump above his head. He sleepily started to get to his feet to go check it out when he heard Jason's screams, "Daddy, Daddy, something's wrong with Mommy!"

Richard immediately was wide awake and ran up the stairs two at a time. Richard gasped and yelled, "Lois!" when he saw her on the ground beside the bed. She was convulsing violently with her eyes rolled back in her head. Richard looked around and yelled at Jason, "Go call 911, no wait…start yelling for Superman."

Before either could open their mouths to yell for Superman, both felt a whoosh of wind blow into the room. They saw Superman bend over Lois and watched as he carefully picked her up making sure to keep her on her side so she didn't choke. Neither had time to even blink before Superman was gone with Lois. Richard started to quickly get dressed and directed Jason to do the same.

Both were dressed and on their way out the front door to the car when Superman once again appeared. His tone allowed no argument, "Come with me, it's much quicker than driving." He gathered both Richard and Jason into his arms and flew them to the hospital. Before Richard could start to form a question about Lois, Superman was landing them front of the hospital.

All three walked into the ER looking like a small army ready for battle. Richard and Jason followed Superman as he led the way through the double doors. No one dared to stop them from going in. Richard almost ran into the back of Superman as he abruptly stopped in the middle of the hallway. He suddenly disappeared around the corner going faster than any human could follow. Richard leaned down to scoop up Jason in his arms and he ran off after Superman.

Richard gasped as he watched Superman yell at the doctor in front of him, "Who is the best?" The doctor was too stunned to reply as he had been scanning the chart in front of him when suddenly a huge man in tights appeared out of thin air. Superman tried again, more gently this time, "Doctor, who is the best doctor in the world for this patient?"

The doctor raised his eyebrows as he once more scanned the chart, "That would be Doctor Richard Manning in Los Angeles, California."

Superman put his hands on the doctor's shoulders, "I'm counting on you to keep her alive. Dr. Manning will be here within ten minutes."

Before the doctor could reply, Superman was gone leaving Richard and Jason staring wide-eyed at the surprised physician. Richard stepped forward, "Doctor, what's going on with Lois?"

He frowned and looked to Richard, "We don't know for sure yet, but it looks like Lois has a ruptured cerebral aneurysm. We are trying to control her intracranial pressure by controlling the bleeding. We are prepping her for neurosurgery. I'm sorry, but I need to get back in there." The doctor rushed back into the room next to him.

Richard stood in the middle of the hallway holding Jason. Neither made a sound nor moved an inch. Richard didn't know what to do. Lois had been injured before; had landed herself in the hospital plenty of times before. But never like this. She had always been talking and shouting expletives at the doctors trying to bandage her up.

Superman appeared out of nowhere holding a bleary eyed man. He pointed the man in a dressing gown into the room where the previous doctor had disappeared. Superman looked to Richard and met his eyes. Both men passed a silent exchange of pain and grief. Richard blinked and he was gone.

The hours passed and Richard hadn't heard a word from the doctors or nurses. Jason had cried himself to sleep and Richard sat holding him staring at the wall over Jason's head. A fellow waiting family member tried to offer Richard some coffee and Richard didn't even respond.

The doctor from earlier pushed through the swinging double doors and looked at Richard meeting his eyes. Richard took a big gulp and stoop up placing a sleeping Jason on the waiting room seat. He walked over to the doctor with trepidation in every step. His stomach sunk as the doctor continued to stare at him with not a hint of joy in his eyes. He obviously wasn't bringing good news. That walk across the waiting room felt like the longest walk of his life; he knew what he was walking to. He was sure the doctor was going to tell him that Lois was in grave condition; she was in a coma or something like that.

The doctor opened his mouth to speak as Richard drew near, "I'm sorry…We did everything we could."

Richard just stared at him. His heart started pounding in his chest, "What do you mean? I mean…she's okay, right? Or she will be?"

The doctor shut his eyes; he hated this part of his job. "No, I'm sorry. She's gone."

Richard couldn't comprehend what he was saying, "You mean Superman took her somewhere, to a better hospital?"

"No, I mean…Lois is dead." The doctor cringed saying that word with all the finality it implied.

Richard started breathing fast and hard, "I don't understand…Superman went and brought in the best. She was going to be fine. I was worried, but I didn't think we could lose her. She always bounces right back."

The doctor interrupted Richard's string of words, "She had a ruptured cerebral aneurysm. Unfortunately, it looked to have been bleeding for awhile. She must have had some recent head trauma that caused the aneurysm to burst. We could not control the bleeding or the intracranial pressure."

Richard stood looking at the doctor, suddenly a memory lit up his eyes, "A large steel door hit her in the head a few days ago. She passed out, but Superman looked her over and said she would be okay." Richard suddenly felt rage build up in his chest. This was Superman's fault; he allowed this to happen.

The doctor watched Richard's hands tighten into fists and backed off a step, "These ruptured aneurysm's take time to show up. They often bleed slowly at first. I'm not surprised he didn't see it at first."

But Richard didn't hear a word the doctor said, he had found someone to blame this tragedy on. He could focus all his pain and anger on one man. Suddenly, he stepped back and started yelling, "Superman! Superman!"

Clark had heard everything from ten thousand feet above the hospital. He had already been to his fortress to see if there was anything there that he could help Lois with. Unfortunately, the healing power of the fortress did not extend to humans, only to those of Kryptonian heritage. He could not hold back his tears when the doctor said, 'Lois is dead,' to Richard. He broke down and wept as Richard drew his conclusions and blamed Superman. Clark couldn't bear to show his face to Richard; he knew it was his fault. He didn't see the point of letting Richard openly berate him for his faults, especially in front of his son. Clark turned north and started flying towards the sun ignoring the cries for help he heard calling for him.


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's Note: Sorry for the wait! __Super busy month for me.__ I have a vacation coming up, so hopefully you'll have some large installments coming up!__ Thank you for the reviews!!_

A Routine

One week passed and then another, soon, whole months had passed by. We all seem to be falling into an uneasy routine. Richard is ignoring reality and engrossing himself in his work. I am watching Jason on a daily basis, and Clark is trying to ignore the fact that the world needs him. I've all but moved into the White household. I've long since leased out my condo in London, but I can't decide if I should sell it or not. I can't seem to sit Richard down long enough to talk about it. I don't want Jason to think I'm trying to take his Mother's place, but it seems to be the role I'm falling into.

Richard leaves early in the morning for the Planet and doesn't come home until Jason can barely keep his eyes open anymore. I worry about the little guy. He's been so brave throughout all this, without a word of complaint. The only thing he asks for is to see more of his Daddy. If I could shake some sense into Richard he'd have a hard time seeing straight when I was done with him.

I can only clean the house so many times while Jason is at school, so I've started to look for a job in Metropolis, but searching for something in my career field is out of the question. I'm trying to come up with alternatives, but it's tough to find an open job position that lists: computer hacker, kung fu fighter, and general know it all, in the job description.

After an exhausting day of scouring the help wanted ads I try out my newfound culinary skills. Clark has a standing invitation for dinner, and he comes every night that Richard isn't there. Which, unfortunately for Jason, is more often than not. But Jason loves having Clark there. His face brightens when he walks in the door and he doesn't leave his side.

We asked Jason how he had known Clark and Superman were one in the same. His answer was ironic in its simplicity. Jason said, "I can't believe no one sees it. Superman is just Clark with no glasses and a cape. All you have to do is look at them side by side. They're the same." Turns out he had seen a picture of Superman on a TV in the news room while Clark was standing underneath it. Add a touch of childhood innocence and the disguise was futile.

I have to admit when I first saw Superman my first thought wasn't, "Oh, there's Clark." It took me watching him do a few rescues and studying his picture in the paper before I realized who it was. The slick backed hair and tight spandex really threw me off. I'll have to warn him to be careful around children. Obviously, the world hasn't taken away their naivety, and it allows them to see the obvious.

I remember years ago one of the little girls I saved asked me why my smile didn't reach my eyes. It reminded me that it's more difficult to get away with things around children than it is with adults. You can fool adults by only showing them what they want to see, whereas kids see what you don't want them to see.

Clark and I successfully avoid each other, or I should say, I successfully avoid him since he keeps trying to corner me. I don't want to talk about the past, but I know how he likes to dwell on it. My plan is almost a complete success until Clark surprised me with Superman.

* * *

It was a full moon. Richard had called and said he'd be late…again. I had read Jason three stories before he finally drifted off to sleep. I poured myself a glass of wine and stepped out onto the porch overlooking the river to watch the bright stars. That was obviously my first mistake. Don't go out into an open area if you're trying to avoid someone. 

It wasn't long before I heard the distinct sound of wind rustling a heavy fabric, in this case, a cape. I turned around to face Clark. It startled me to see Clark as Superman up close. I had seen the pictures of course, but they don't do him justice. Nothing could compare to seeing him standing there like the hero he is. I could only stand there and stare in awe.

Clark's gentle laugh finally roused me out of my reverie, "I know Chlo, it's a bit much. It took Mom awhile to talk me into it."

I pulled my eyes from the large "S" to focus on his face, "I just haven't seen you up close in the costume. It's no wonder Lois never saw through it." I desperately racked my brain to come up with an excuse to get away. I couldn't stand out here with him or my avoidance tactic would surely dissipate. "I'm sorry Clark; I have to go back inside. I need to hear Jason if he calls."

Clark stepped forward and put his hand on my shoulder, "I can hear his every breath. He's fine. You can't avoid me forever. We need to talk." Clark held his hand out to me, "Come with me Chloe."

I stared at his hand. Time stretched out as comprehension dawned on me. His hand was a bridge between the past and future. I could stay where I was and dwell in the past, or I could go and move forward towards the future. I realized then that by avoiding him and ignoring my feelings that I was doing the very thing I had sworn not to do. I was holding onto the past with an iron fist. I could never truly forget if I didn't forgive.

I tentatively put my hand in his and started to walk towards the house. I looked over my shoulder and said, "You didn't have to dress up for me Clark. I…" I stopped as Clark didn't budge from the spot he was standing on. "What's wrong? I thought you wanted to talk."

He smiled as he said, "I do Chloe, but not here." He pulled me to him and embraced me. A chill went down my spine as I felt his strong arms completely encircle my waist. The suit certainly didn't leave much to the imagination.

Completely confused I started to pull out of the embrace, "Well, let's go inside then." I took a step back and my stomach plummeted. There was no solid surface beneath my feet. That's when I looked down and got the shock of my life. The bright lights from the house were starting to fade as we were rising up towards the stars. "Okay…well…outside is okay with me."

Clark's chest rumbled with laughter as he put his finger underneath my chin and raised my eyes to his, "The first thing I wanted to do when I figured out how to fly was take you up with me. I wanted to show you how beautiful everything is from up here. It devastated me when I discovered you were gone. I never wanted to fly again."

I broke eye contact and looked down to his chest, "I want to say I'm sorry for leaving, but I'm not sorry. I had good reasons; it was for the best."

"What were the reasons Chloe? I've tried to figure it out for years. You told me you'd wait for me, and I understand why you didn't. I would never have asked you to wait if I had known how long it would take. But why did you completely disappear? We all believed you were dead."

I looked up to meet his eyes; he needed to know the truth, "It was the only way I could ensure you wouldn't come after me. You had a destiny to fill, and I knew I wasn't a part of that destiny, at least in the romantic capacity. After what we shared I wasn't ready to just be your friend again. I knew I could never be the part-time side kick again."

Confusion clouded Clark's eyes, "But what would make you think you weren't a part of my destiny? You were always a part of me. I didn't want to live without you when I found out you were gone…" Suddenly Clark's eyes darted off into the distance, "Richard's almost home. I have to take you back. I can't let him see me. I don't think he'd like you consorting with the 'enemy.' But this conversation is not over. I will be over tomorrow morning after Jason's left for school and Richard is at the Planet."

I was left speechless as I felt the wind blow my hair around my face and watched as the city lights rushed beneath us. There was nothing I wanted less than to continue this conversation and dredge up old heartbreak I'd rather leave untouched. But I knew it was time for us to talk.

Clark gently landed us on the grass in front of the house. He cupped my face in his strong hands as he said, "Goodnight Chlo, I'll see you tomorrow. Sweet Dreams."

Before I could respond he was gone. I stood staring off into the distance when suddenly Richard called out behind me, "Hey Chloe, what are you doing out here? It's freezing." Oddly enough I didn't feel the slightest bit cold.


	8. Chapter 8

_Author's Note: Sorry so short. Having issues at work, but I'm trying to keep at it. Thanks for reading._

**Morning**

The morning dawned bright and clear. The sun's rays woke up Chloe from her fitful sleep. She opened her tired eyes and dragged herself to the shower. She had been plagued all night with bad dreams of the past. Standing under the spray of hot water the memories came flooding back.

"Oh shoot," Chloe whispered. "Clark!" she yelled, "Can you get me some more shampoo? We ran out."

Clark opened the door to the bathroom and handed a bottle of shampoo through the shower curtain.

Chloe widened her eyes, "Wow! That was fast. Did you go to the store to get that?" Clark smiled and nodded. "I'm impressed Clark. Thanks!"

Chloe had given up her apartment above the Talon and had moved in with Clark at the farm. They were happy and in love. Months had passed by and Clark was able to push thoughts of his training to the back of his mind and focus on the farm. Chloe was busy at the Planet and enjoyed her daily "run" to Metropolis in the arms of her hero.

Both were getting ready for the day when there was a knock at the door. Clark pulled open the inner door to review Lionel Luthor standing there. There was no sly smile or neat appearance. He appeared to be rather disheveled and stared straight ahead. Chloe came up behind Clark and took a deep breath when she saw who it was.

Clark started, "What do you want Lionel?" But Lionel didn't answer. Clark opened up the screen door between them and revealed the problem. Lionel's eyes were completely white.

Lionel turned his head towards Clark and said, "Kal-El, you have waited long enough. It is time for your training. You have destroyed those you released from the phantom zone. There is nothing to stop you. You have until sunset tomorrow to come to your fortress. I will have to take matters into my own hands if you do not comply."

Before Clark could argue with him, Lionel collapsed to the floor and his eyes returned to normal. Chloe knelt down beside him as Lionel was able to gasp out, "What...Where am I?" before he passed out.

Chloe looked up at Clark with tears in here eyes, "You need to take him home Clark." Chloe stood back up as Clark leaned over, picked Lionel up, and disappeared from her sight.

Chloe's mind reeled as she considered what Lionel had said. She knew very little about the training Jor-El wanted Clark to do. Clark had refused to discuss the topic. She knew she had interrupted it once before, and she knew it was met with dire consequences. Clark had told her that he wasn't going to do it, that Jor-El had no power over him.

Before she could consider anything more, Clark reappeared before her. He pulled her into a hug and refused to let go. He whispered into her hair, "I won't go Chlo. I won't leave you."

Chloe pushed herself out of his arms and looked into his eyes, "You have to go Clark. This is your destiny. You heard him, he threatened you...you have to go. I will wait for you Clark. I would wait forever for you. I'm not going anywhere."

Clark let a tear slip down his cheek and he pulled Chloe back into a hug, "I love you forever and always Chlo."

Chloe was snapped back into the present as she felt a drip of soap get into her eyes. She had been standing there needlessly soaping up her hair for ten minutes. Chloe snorted and shook her head to clear the memories. The rest of her morning routine went by quickly as she anticipated Clark's arrival.

His timing as impeccable as ever, the doorbell rang as Chloe was walking down the stairs. Chloe smiled as she opened the door to reveal the Clark she remembered in jeans and a plaid shirt. "Good morning Clark. Come on in. You want any breakfast?"

Clark walked over the threshold and pulled Chloe into a tight hug. He said, "I am just so happy to see you again. I feel like I'm dreaming every time I see your smiling face." Clark let Chloe go and took a quick step away. "I was thinking we'd go out for breakfast. I know this great place close to here that I think you'd like. They have great coffee."

Chloe grinned, "I can definitely use some good coffee. Let me grab my sweater." Chloe turned around to get her sweater from the hall closet and slipped it on. She felt a breeze on her face and looked up to see Superman standing before her. "Well, that was...interesting. I wish I could change that quick. I bet you get a lot of free coffee in that suit."

Clark lifted his eyebrow, "This isn't for the coffee. It helps with flying. Loose clothing tends to get damaged in transit if I have to make any quick maneuvers."

Chloe broke a full smile, "Oh awesome! I loved flying last night. Let's go." Chloe quickly walked to the back door and passed into the back yard. Before she could turn around, Clark had scooped her up into his arms and rose up into the sky. "You know Clark, I could get used to this."

Clark's expression suddenly got serious, "Thank you for agreeing to talk Chloe. You've avoided me for long enough now. Thank you for taking such good care of Jason. I don't think he could have gotten through this without you."

"No Clark. He would have gotten through just fine. He is a strong little boy, and I don't mean physically. I know it helps him to have family around though. I wish he could know your mom. She must be dying to meet him."

Clark frowned, "I haven't told her yet. I don't want her to know and never get to meet him. I'll tell her eventually. I just want to make sure she'll get to meet him someday when I do tell her."

Chloe looked into Clark's eyes, "I know it seems so hard right now. But it'll get better. We'll figure out a way to bring Richard around, and then we can tell Jason."

Clark smirked and raised his eyebrows, "_We_, huh?"

Chloe laughed and playfully punched his shoulder, "Of course you big dope. I said I'd be there for Jason, and if that means helping you then so be it."

Clark smiled lovingly at her as he hugged her tighter and built up speed.


End file.
